


Skies Full of Stars

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: But no one is underage, F/M, First Kiss, Jewish Ben and Leia, Modern AU, Nine-Ish year age difference between Ben and Rey., Sweetness and Fluff, confessions under the stars, gift for someone wonderful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's a year since Han's death exactly, and Ben needs the quiet of the night over the house full of family and friends to keep him and his mom from feeling alone. Rey joins him outside. Confessions of the heart follow.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	Skies Full of Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blessedindeed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blessedindeed/gifts).



> Blessedindeed is kind, thoughtful, talented, generous, and amazing. AND SO SO TALENTED. Seriously! Your art is amazing and you're a luminous soul. Thank you so much for all the time you share in reading my nonsense, and all the reviews you leave. I treasure them. I hope you enjoy this, my friend! 
> 
> A massive thank you to tashadlv for your time in making a quick read of this!! You're just lovely, friend. This is otherwise unbeta'd and unalpha'd. Thank you for reading <3

* * *

“‘Daffodils. Green meadows. Skies full of stars. Raindrops on roses. Whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles, and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things.’” 

Ben Solo licks his lips as he surveys the picturesque night. He’s sitting in a green meadow—the one that’s across the road of his parent’s country estate. He’s always preferred this to the town home. And that hovel of a hole in Coruscant, IL, where he attended First Order University for ten years. 

Ten. Years. 

He hadn’t intended on being gone for so long when starting as a freshman in Industrial Engineering. Taking summer classes every year had even put him on track to graduate in _three_ years. Then came the opportunity for graduate school, with an emphasis in supply chain and logistics. Then the doctorate. 

He hadn’t returned home much in the time. He regrets that now. 

He regrets a lot of things. 

He regrets allowing the bastard Dean Snoke so much control over him. He regrets all the observances of Passover, Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Chanukah with Mom he’s missed. She always invited him home. For a while he would tell her regretfully he was too busy. He stopped responding at all a year into his doctoral studies. 

He ignored Dad completely every Easter and Christmas—though those were more nostalgic holidays for Dad than religious observances anyways. He’d never felt guilty for ignoring until…

_Until._

“Ben?” 

He’s startled from his thoughts, and even jumps a little. He regrets all he allowed to happen to have him thirty-two years old and jumping when startled. Or almost afraid of the dark when it’s too silent and still. 

It’s why he sings to himself now. 

He turns to see Rey walking up. 

_Rey_. 

Bathed in the moonlight, there’s a softness to her he doesn’t normally see. Not when she’s all squared shoulders, tight jaw, and narrow hazel eyes under furrowed brows when the world is looking. It’s rare for her to drop her mask and guard, but all semblance of pretense is gone now. Her eyes are wide, head tilted, and lips parted. She’s canted towards him, waiting. 

Waiting on his permission to come closer. 

“Hey,” he says after a beat. Or several. He feels he’s been looking at her for a while. A long while. Or maybe it’s only been a few seconds. Time does this thing where it fades and ceases to exist where Rey is involved. But it’s awkward now. He looks away, back to the stars. “Have a seat if you’d like.” 

“Okay.” Grass rustles and she’s close enough for him to hear her breathing. Close enough to feel a hint of warmth as she lowers herself. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” He doesn’t look from the star-studded midnight sky. His neck strains under such self-restraint. 

“I wondered where you’d vanished to. Luke mentioned this field.” 

“Meadow,” Ben corrects, a scowl forming involuntarily as his gaze drops to gentle slopes of hills in the distance. Then the grass and wildflowers. The pond where Dad tried teaching him to fish. Where they would sometimes fish together in awkward, masculine silence—before Ben went off to First Order U. 

His throat tightens. Swallowing seems pointless. He tries for clearing his throat next. “A field is an enclosed piece of land which is maintained for the purpose of growing crops. A meadow is land which is allowed to grow unchecked for the purpose of producing hay.” 

“I thought that was a pasture.” 

_Oy vey._ “A pasture is similar,” Ben says, “but it’s purposefully grazed over the summer months. Haven’t you been living in this town four years now?” 

“Five,” Rey corrects, but there’s no real bite in her voice. Not anymore. 

Not since Dad’s funeral. 

The six months _before_ —before he knew there’d be a before and after his father’s heart attack—Ben adds those to his list of regrets. Such wasted time being jealous of Rey’s relationship with his mom and dad. With Chewie, Maz, and Lando. Hell, even with Uncle Luke. (Rey will be the first to say she’s antagonistic with Luke at best. Maybe that’s better than indifference, though. Maybe.) 

“Five then,” he says. “Sufficient time and means to learn the correct verbiage when discussing the landscape.” 

“Sure. Whatever you say, Ben.” She scoots and shuffles to face him in the grass. “I know it’s been tense the last week, and I’m sorry for how you took my rejection—” 

_No._ “It’s fine, Rey.” His tone is clipped and he’s all business now. Doesn’t to relive the confusion of this past week tonight of all nights. “I should never presumed upon—” 

“I wasn’t rejecting YOU, you brainless goofball.” Rey huffs, holding his gaze all the while. “I rejected the job offer. Not the same thing. At all.” 

Ben opens his mouth to respond. Closes it. 

She’s right and he’s nothing to say to counter that logic. Especially since he’s made a brooding and emotional fool of himself the last week since her refusal of the position. 

Correction: he _does_. 

“I’m sorry.” He swallows once. Twice. “I take things far too personally still, and I shouldn’t have read more into it than it was.” 

“Okay. Good. I’m glad we’ve got that cleared up.” She rests a hand on his shoulder and maintains eye contact with him. “I’m happy with my day job working with Chewie still. It’s quiet, and I need quiet. The position you offered would have me working closely with Dameron, and I’m not ready for daily contact with a man so obnoxiously and loudly in love with himself. No matter how good a worker he is.” 

Ben snorts. He can’t fault Rey for that either. “Poe is a con to consider in any situation. But I just thought you would enjoy the experience with line design.” 

“You’re sweet.” She squeezes his shoulder gently, everything about her posture softening again. “And I was thinking… if you have an opening for a part-time worker or intern within your research and field testing department, I’d be interested in that. Because I’m thinking of going back for my masters in geotech.” 

“What? Like playing around with equipment in dirt and mud all day?” He blinks at her, but can’t fight the grin. 

“Obviously.” She sniffs and lifts her chin high, eyes shining. “But wait…” Her hand, the one that had been on his shoulder, it’s on his face now. Trailing along his jawline, sending hot chills down his spine. “You _took_ it as more than a declined job opportunity. Does that mean you _meant_ it to be more than a job?” 

_Bingo_ . _Fifty points to Rey Johnson._ His heart rate kicks to full speed and he needs to leave. Now. Needs to rise to standing position and force his massive feet to move, move, _move_. Needs to run and hide so Rey can never find him to reject him again. 

…Needs to find a way to answer her. Honestly, this time.

“Not in so many words.” He lifts his shoulder in a weak shrug, lips twisting in a half-smile. “It was something to offer you more if you wanted or needed more, and the bonus of seeing you everyday and possibly offering to carpool together since we live so close to each other—” 

“No we don’t,” she interjects. 

“Fine, we don’t.” He’s babbling now, but he can’t figure out how to stop himself. “But it’d be no trouble to pick you up, and we’d be doing a service to the environment by driving together. And maybe eating the occasional lunch or dinner together, and—” 

He’ll never know where he was going next with that sentence. How he was going to finish out his thoughts. Because Rey has leaned in, and captured his lips with hers. It’s slow and soft and questioning… Until it isn’t. Until Ben’s mind catches up and he is fully aware that he’s being kissed by Rey. 

_Rey_. 

The girl he’d hoped he could work up the courage to ask out after spending almost every waking moment of every day with her once she accepted the job offer from his company. The girl he thinks he sees spending the rest of his life with. The girl he didn’t know he’d been falling in love with before in the lost six months of animosity before this friendship they have now. 

She opens her mouth to him and there’s no going back now. No possible way he can return to a time before knowing that Rey tastes of all things sweet, good, and wonderful. Before hearing all these delicious moans, sighs and hums as they make out under the stars. 

They’re clutching, pulling and holding each other close. She cards her hands through his hair, and he skims his hands over her ribcage, hating the thin layer of cotton separating his fingers from Rey’s warm skin. 

They’re panting when Rey breaks the kiss. “Okay,” she giggles in a breathless way that makes Ben preen. “I really didn’t come out here for that.” 

“No?” He grins wolfishly before kissing down the length of her neck, relishing in the way she gasps and sighs his name. 

She pulls his face up, slanting her lips over his and he’s lost to this newness all over again. They’ve been kissing for hours, or perhaps only minutes. Or maybe even seconds. Rey’s hair is a mess, and he imagines his is, too, when they break for air again. 

“Well... fine.” Rey licks her lips, and doesn’t look away from him. “It crossed my mind; it’s crossed my mind before tonight, too. But really, I wanted to find you to tell you Han was so proud of you. That he talked of you constantly. Loved all the changes you were making at Resistance Tractor Supply.” 

Emotion is thick in his throat. Heavy on his chest. Hot tears sting at his eyes. 

He’s not thinking of kissing Rey anymore. Memories invade. And all the feelings of tonight crash into him. It’s been a year since... _since_. Precisely. As of tonight. The gathering with Mom, Luke, Rose, Finn, Paige, and Poe—it had been too much. He’d told Mom he just needed air. The sun had been setting then. 

Under the canopy of twinkling and winking stars, under the pale, full moon, he guesses it’s been too long now to make excuses for a polite stepping out for air. 

“I wish he’d told me that,” Ben murmurs in the stillness that’s settled over them. He slots his fingers in the gaps between Rey’s. “I wish I’d spent more time with him. Even being back here, back _home_ , I didn’t give much opportunity for talk.” 

“That happens, Ben.” She’s reassuring and sweet in her words. “You’ve been working so hard with the company, and it’s the nature of people to believe actions will never be enough. But he knew you loved him. It meant everything to him you came home.” 

He doesn’t deserve this. Doesn’t deserve her kindness. Her kisses. The way her head now rests on his shoulder, as if he were a safe haven. Or a place she should be able to choose to reside. 

He wants it, though. More than anything he’s ever dared to desire before. 

“Thank you, Rey.” He keeps his voice low, but it’s breathier than he intended. Deeper, too. Ah, well. They’ve already kissed now, may as well lay it all out there now. He shifts his face and kisses her hair. Once. Twice. Then nuzzles his cheek into her hair. “I’m glad you came out here.” 

“You’re welcome.” She shifts in the grass, nestling impossibly closer. “It’s easy to get lost in thoughts and memories out here. To relive all the painful memories in the silence.” She pauses, releasing a long, slow breath. Then adds so quietly, it’s almost to herself. “It’s easy to feel alone.” 

“You’re not alone.” He brings a hand to her face, cupping her freckled cheek. Tracing his thumb along the bone under her eye. His head dips down, and he repeats, “You’re not alone, sweetheart.” 

“Neither are you.” 

It’s the last thing he remembers her saying before they’re kissing again. Kissing, tasting, savoring, languishing, and learning. In a way, it feels like discovering the meaning of something deeper and more precious than he’s ever experienced before. 

They don’t speak as they make their way back to the house. They’re holding hands, fingers tangled together, and Ben thinks of this time when he was ten and having breakfast with Dad while Mom was out of town on business. Dad had poured grape juice, and for some reason, Ben decided to lift his glass high. 

“ _L’chaim!”_ he’d cheered, beaming brightly over toast and eggs. 

It was the biggest smile he remembers Dad smiling. “ _L’chaim toyvim u’l’sholem_ ,” Dad answered, clinking his glass with Ben’s. 

Ben smiles at the memory now. He smiles as Rey enters the dark house with him and accepts his invitation for _The Sound of Music_. He smiles as she curls up and leans into him on the large, leather couch. He smiles as his eyes grow heavy and he nods off to Maria dancing in the moonlight with the man she doesn’t yet know she’s in love with. 

Ben’s pretty sure he’s well on his way to being in love with Rey. 

Maybe she’s where he’s needed to be all this time for that good life and peace his dad wished him all those years ago. 


End file.
